I am torn between two things right now - hoping more to attract increased positive vibes, or not expecting anything at all just to keep my emotions in tact.

Staring at the blank ceiling, my mind's traveling in circles. Nothing seems to distract me at all. Not even my favorite songs, my favorite game, or my favorite food. Not even supposed-to-be-laugh-hard jokes, or the funniest pictures on the net. I feel so drained, so restless. My smiles seem to have faded away, leaving only traces of desperation and melancholy. It's hard to try smiling, or forgetting the very reason why you can't smile especially when you're alone, sitting at the corner just by the window pane. The misty chill of the evening sings to me the saddest tune. Will I ever be spared from an ocean of tears? I am too weak to even try saying a single word. What more is there to say, when my heart has already exploded?

I am moments away from the verdict of truth. The latter part of the day will either make or break me. All I can do now is wait... wait in my sleep, wait in my prayers, wait in my dreams.

I choose not to lose hope for hope itself gives of a sparkle of radiance. One of the few many reasons to still want to go on. I choose to believe in miracles. I choose to believe IT WILL HAPPEN.

I know my faith in Jesus, wouldn't fail me. I trust in His power, I trust in His unconditional love.

Let's all hope for the best. Until then, I will be waiting... |